The Movie Swingers Ruined My Communication Skills

I have a problem in which my wife refers to as “The Whiteley Want it Nows.” I think its pretty self explanatory, and I know I am not the only who suffers from it. In this world of everything being “instant” we have grown impatient and cannot tolerate waiting for things (I seriously can’t even wait the 2 minutes it takes to cook a Pop Tart).

Another area where the instant gratification has gone really bonkers is in communication. There are around 800 ways that a person can get a hold of me. Can’t find me on Facebook, send me a text, no luck there? Send me an email. Did you try to Tweet me? Leave a message on my iPhone, Home phone?

And after you have exhausted the list of ways to find me, I still don’t respond.

So why is that? I have been asking myself this for sometime now. I know that I procrastinate sometimes, but why do I have to wait to respond to someone instead of participating in the instant communication that is now available.

I Blame Trent and Sue

I’m sure most of us remember the “3 Day Rule” where you had to wait 3 days to call someone once you acquired their digits. Well, I think some how that really stuck with me. Not to the extent that I have to wait 3 days to call someone, but I still have to let some time pass before making some kind of response. I don’t think it was the speech about waiting 3 days to call someone that created this stigma within me, but more so it was the repercussion of responding instantly. Here is the scene from Swingers where Mike calls Nikki back as soon as he gets home:

Of course nowadays if this were to happen on Facebook it would look even more painful:

And I think this is why I do not respond to people instantly.

How many days do you take to respond? – All you “insta-responders will most likely leave a comment

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Modish Mama

If I can respond right away I always do. If I have to think about it or check on things then I usually say that in a short message then get back to them with more info when I can. But I’m woman an we think differently. In other words your procrastination is annoying 😉



    Fact. It is/I am annoying.

    One of the reasons I put it off is because I would like the communication to be short. I don’t have time for the “How’s it going” conversation that invariable ensues, so I usually wait a bit so that I know the person isn’t on Facebook, or at their email.


Carmelle Whiteley

I love being able to get in touch with people right away. There have been times where I’ve caught myself communicating with the exact same person at the same time via three different methods of technology. That is the world we live in today.

However, there is definitely something to be said for good, old fashioned, face-to-face communiqué. For example, the next time you find yourself awake at 4:50 am beside your wife in bed, and she asks, “Do you want to talk?” keep in mind your “3 Day Rule” doesn’t apply to her.



    We can have conversations at 4:50am provided that you do all the talking and snoring is an acceptable retort to any questions that you may ask.


Chris B

You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man, Whitely. You’re a bad man, bad man…



    I really wish I knew what I did to become a “bad man” so that I could continue to do it and perhaps increase its frequency.


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