Use the Power of Facebook to Avoid Getting Sick

14 Comments December 23, 2011

Much like picking our nose, we all lurk on Facebook,  just not many of us will admit it to it. We use the power of Facebook to voyeuristically spy on the lives of our friends and family. I figure that along with a bit of lurking here and there we could use Facebook to better ourselves.

I was doing my usual bit of newsfeed scrolling a few days ago, and I noticed that a friend of mine updated his status to let the world know that he was sick. I thought that was pretty cool, and that I would avoid that friend for a week or two. It got me thinking to how many of my other friends were harbouring some kind of illness, and who else I should be avoiding. This all led to my awesome:

Whiteley Guide to Avoiding Your Sick Friends

  1. Head to Facebook and in the search bar at the top of the page type in the word Sick (you can also use ‘ill’ or ‘flu’ or ‘spores’)
  2. Choose the bottom option that says: “See more results for sick.”
  3. On the results page click on the “Posts by Friends” link on the left hand side of the page.

You will then be presented with a list of your friends that have used the phrase sick/ill/flu in their status updates. Now just avoid those friends for a few weeks and you should be somewhat safe. Add this as a part of your lurking routine and enjoy being healthy.

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14 comments

Carmelle Whiteley

DISCLAIMER: Regrettably, Facebook could still not not save your wife or baby from getting sick. In fact, when another human being physically coughs inside your mouth, you can pretty much guarantee that you’re going to pick up whatever it is that person is carrying. On behalf of your one year old son, I’m sorry you still got sick.

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    Chris

    I find myself still reeling from the irony that has befallen me. Only days after writing this post, I get sick, get better and then get sick again.

    I do accept the apology that you made on behalf of The Boy, however for the lingering sickness that is now within my body (maybe as deep as my soul) I have I blame the other ‘baby.’ He’s about 6’6″ and stayed with us for a week.

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Jevon

Apparently you need to read your post more closely, that way you can avoid getting sick haha. Thats actually a pretty creative way to use Facebook, but i think i’ll just stick to the tried and true method of not worrying about it and hoping that if someone is deathly ill, they’ll just avoid the public out of a common courtesy ;)

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    Chris

    You can try to just avoid people and not worry about it, but sick people are like Zombies. They have the urge to make other people really sick as well.

    Mmmm brains…

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Tarzan

Tarzan curious. This idea help Chris stop getting sick from friends. But what about other things Chris meet in jungle patrol? Stubborn baristas, too cheap for sick day, dirty doorknobs, or elephants with runny noses? Germ theory says many things, but most common message sounds like the dickish laughter of the third “Lion King” hyena.

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    Chris

    Perhaps Tarzan could invest in the gloves and a facemask (that are Facebook branded of course).

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Duck Norris

I don’t think that’s going to work too well. Unless you want to avoid any, and all friends with children under 10. They are all filthy creatures. All. If someone isn’t showing current symptoms of illness, rest assured it is there.

What happened to the guy who licked squeeze cheese off the sidewalk on front of Monty’s Showroom? I miss him. Bring him back. He and I need to go find some street meat.

Maybe the realm of Ravenloft IS real, and your current D&D character is actually just an alias for what is really going on. The real Chris Whiteley died, and was resurrected. But he was split into two. One awesome. One not as awesome, bit still awesome.

We must find this doppelganger! And when we do, we must help…….. Him. Destroy you.

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    Chris

    I think if I had a Doppleganger we would work together for the powers of awesome, even if one of us is not as awesome as the other.

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Aunty C

Creative thinkers can use Facebook for many things – never thought of being a tracker system – could ou imagine the usefulness of this to gr8 thru 12 teachers to check out the validity of their students excuses? Way cool!

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    Chris

    Facebook is great for stalking. The questions is though “is it common for students and teachers to be friends on Facebook?”

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      Aunty C

      No, as a matter of fact teachers are discouraged from using Facebook altogether and really discouraged from being friends with students – could you imagine the positive potential if it were used in the right way though?

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Kimberley

Now I know why I missed this post initially, I was too busy barfing for 12 hours straight and losing a total of 8 pounds in those 12 hours. If only I had read this before hand then I could have avoided the plague that infested our home over the holidays. You are wise guru… very wise.

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    Chris

    And now you know why I never visited around Christmas.

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Chris

Just comming off my first experience with the family flu. This is much worse then the normal flu. I didn’t think it could be as there was a time when I could not imagine a situation worse then multiple exit simultaneous exit. But to have it happening while holding a mini version of myself has shown me how wrong I could be. In short I should have read this earlier as well.

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